


Caught In The Net

by Aislashu



Series: In The Net [2]
Category: Free!
Genre: Abusive Behavior, Angst, Bruises, Comedy, Consent Issues, Consented But Unwanted, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Free! Kink Meme, Hurt/Comfort, Jealousy, Kink Meme, Loss of Virginity, M/M, One-Sided Relationship, Possessive Behavior, Roughness, Tickling, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-12
Updated: 2013-08-26
Packaged: 2017-12-23 05:32:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 19,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/922582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aislashu/pseuds/Aislashu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Makoto has been dating the man he loves for two years. Haru's been trapped in a relationship he doesn't know how to get out of for two years. When the only person Haru has ever loved suddenly comes back into their lives, what's he supposed to do?</p><p>Written for an Iwatobeswimclub Kinkmeme prompt:<br/>I think Haru always had his eye on Rin, even though he wouldn't move it to himself. After Rin moved tho and they had their falling out, Makoto was just always there for him and loved him. So he just kind of fell into a relationship with him because it was easy and comfortable, not out of any great passion.</p><p>Then Rin came back and with him all the old feelings. And like, at first stuff is really bad between them but after a while Rin maybe calms down and they start spending more and more time together. And Haru is so in love with him and Rin seems to love him back but he has his relationship with Makoto which is making him feel more and more trapped but he doesn't want to hurt Mako either. But then eventually he has to face the truth and do what's necessary even if it makes him feel like an ass.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> My first work in the Free! ficdom, woo! Hope you like it. 
> 
> Obviously, I do not own these characters. Chapter 2 coming soon!

    Haru had always been rather stoic. He really only cared about one thing...water. That is, until Rin had come into his life one day as a child and silently challenged him in the water. He didn't know why, but that silent challenge had spurred him on, when usually he would have let it slide. And then Rin had pretty much barged himself into Haru's life from then on. Haru found he didn't mind.  
  
    Rin had hung on him a lot in those days, always an arm around the shoulders, or legs touching as they sat. The Shark and the Dolphin, buddy-buddy...and Haru actually liked it, though he would never admit to it. He thought his best friend Makoto noticed...no, he was sure Makoto noticed...but the boy never seemed to say anything. And Nagisa was Nagisa...totally oblivious. His nature was practically touchy-feely, so why should it be out of the ordinary? Even if it involved Haru.  
  
    Then Haru's world fell apart. Coming up to the big relay Rin had roped him into, Rin dropped the bombshell that would change Haru's life.  Something Haru had never seen coming...Rin was leaving. Not just leaving...going to an entirely different country.  Haru had gotten used to Rin in his daily life...and, generally one to not care for anyone's touches, had come to almost NEED Rin's.  The weight of Rin's arm around his shoulders, the feeling he got sharing the water with Rin, he'd come to rely on it. His world was a lonely one that Makoto and Nagisa just orbited, really, until Rin had come along.  
  
    Haru lived for the water. The way it felt, they way he felt within it, the way it touched him, became his world. Became part of his very core, his very soul. And he had allowed Rin to become part of that. Haru had never felt for anyone before Rin had come into his life.  
  
    "I'll show you a sight you've never seen before," Rin's promise that day, that day Rin had torn his world apart. Haru had actually gone home and cried that night, curled up in bed. The next day, no one was any wiser. His cold attitude was normal, so there was nothing to let anyone know that something had sent his orbit off-kilter. The relay came, and Rin had indeed shown him something he'd never seen before...and had also been his first kiss.  
  
    A goodbye kiss. And then Rin was out of his life for what he'd thought may be forever. He'd been even more morose the couple weeks following Rin's leaving, and only Makoto had been able to get him out and about outside of hitting the pool. But Haru had kept on with the swim team, knowing out in Australia, Rin was doing the same.  
  
    That winter came, Haru had bumped into Rin and had been ecstatic to see Rin return. The wide smile splitting his face felt unnatural across his features, but seeing Rin for the first time in so long had made him unable to stop it. It wasn't long before they'd made their way to the pool, thankfully running into Coach Sasabe as he was closing up, and he allowed them in.  
  
    Rin wanted a race. A serious one. Wanted to show off what he'd learned, how much he'd grown in the water. Haru had no problem with that. No problem back being in HIS world, with the only other boy he liked sharing it with. The race was fast and furious, and it had caught Haru off-guard. The water felt...wrong.  
  
    His shared world was dark and violent, the ferocity overwhelming. He swam to escape, to get out of it. It pushed him hard, and he beat Rin with room to spare, and wasted no time climbing out of the water. In fact, he was out of the pool before Rin had even reached the wall, which unintentionally added insult to injury that Haru had no idea he'd given. When Rin had climbed out of the water and collapsed to his knees, sobbing, Haru had no idea what to do. His own eyes began to water.  
  
    He had moved forward to comfort his friend, hand reaching out to Rin to help him up, to be the first one to reach out and touch for the first time, and Rin stood, brushing passed him, leaving him standing there with shock on his face and world once more cracking around him. The sound of Rin's goggles smacking against the floor echoing in his head, he froze in place, eyes wide. And then without a word, Rin had gone.  
  
    Haru had turned, taking Rin's abandoned goggles, holding them in his hands. He looked down at them as Sasabe looked on, Haru's teeth clenched as the tears ran down his cheeks, glad he was still wet so he could claim it to be water from the pool. Rin had walked out, and he knew deep down it was for good this time. He had gone home and immediately quit the swim team.  
  
    Surfacing from the water, he took a deep breath and glanced up at Makoto extending a hand to him. He tried pushing away the memories, wondering what had brought on the sudden flood them, he had tried not to think about Rin in a long time. That night had also been when he started spending long periods of time in the tub with his suit on.  
  
    "Good morning, Haru-chan," Makoto smiled sweetly.  
  
    "I told you to lay off the -chan," Haru sighed as he grasped Makoto's hand, standing up.  
  
    "You were bathing with your swimsuit on again?" Makoto's eyes roamed his boyfriend's body, disappointed.  
  
    "Buzz off. You're going to be late," Haru dried off as he exited the bathroom.  
  
    "That's my line!"  
  
    Haru ignored him and made his way downstairs, grabbing an apron once he'd arrived in the kitchen, pulling it on over his suit and tying it behind him. He opened the fridge, staring at all the cuts of mackerel lined carefully inside, deciding which cut to use for breakfast. It took him a few minutes, reaching for different, identical filets of mackerel before deciding on one, slicing it in half and starting to fry it.  
  
    "Why are you grilling fish!?" Makoto exclaimed, having expected Haru to at least be dressed by now.  
  
    "I haven't had breakfast."  
  
    "You're wearing an apron over your swimsuit," Makoto frowned.  
  
    "And you're imagining me without the swimsuit," Haru deadpanned, concentrating on the fish.  
  
    Makoto opened his mouth and held up a finger, then dropped his hand and hung his head, blushing bright red when the image popped into his mind. Apron. No swimsuit. Damn him. Haru smiled lightly down at the fish when there was nothing forthcoming from Makoto, knowing the boy would be tongue-tied for some time at least.  
  
    Haru flipped the fish over and moved to start the toast while the other side of the fish cooked. He moved back to the fish, glancing over at Makoto who had taken a seat at the table, the other boy very obviously trying not to look at him now that he'd implanted that image into Mako's head. Served him right, really. Haru plated the food when it was done, moving to sit across from Makoto, a second fork on his plate.  
  
    Makoto looked up and smiled softly at Haru, shaking his head, but reached over and took it, taking a small bite of the fish. Haru ate quietly, meeting Makoto's gaze for a moment over the shared breakfast before he looked away, taking another bite of fish. Makoto was his best friend, had been by his side since they were younger. Makoto had never left him, never abandoned him. And yet...  
  
    Haru shook his head to himself,taking the plate to the sink when they were done, washing it off. He made his way back to his room, getting dressed and pulling his uniform pants up over his swimsuit. Never knew when there may be water nearby, after all! He grabbed his back, heading out and inclining his head to Makoto, walking out with the other boy. He walked side by side and allowed Makoto's hand to grasp his own, entwining their fingers. He didn't really react, but Makoto was used to that.  
  
    Haru's gaze was drawn to the ocean as they walked, and he just tuned Makoto out really, letting the other boy drone on about their classes, their new teacher. It was still too cold out for swimming, and he didn't like that. He just walked along beside Makoto, hand in hand, until Makoto's words caught his attention.  
  
    "I hope it gets warmer soon so you can swim," Makoto chuckled.  
  
    Haru looked over and then looked away, flushing slightly at how well Makoto actually knew him. Makoto laughed again softly and leaned in, kissing Haru's cheek, causing the other boy's eyes to widen slightly and that flush to deepen. Haru was always caught off-guard with public displays, and they always made him blush, though he really should know to expect them by now. He turned his head towards Makoto and was yet again caught off-guard, eyes widening a bit more as Makoto's lips caught his own.  He kissed back lightly and, pleased, Makoto drew away, letting them walk again.  
  
    Haru sighed quietly and bowed his head lightly, eyes on the ground. He felt like a dolphin caught in a net, lost and with no way out. Each little kiss had laid claim, had tossed a new net over him, trapping him even further, until he had no idea how to get back out again. How could he hurt Makoto, who so clearly cared for him? How could he do to Makoto what Rin had done to him so long ago? The answer was he couldn't. With Rin gone, Makoto was all he had. He couldn't cause Makoto the pain he'd been caused and lose Makoto, too.  
  
    Their hands part when they draw nearer to the school and Haru stuffs his hands in his pockets. He looks up at the school building as they make their way in. Makoto is all he really has left from that time in his life, honestly. Nagisa ended up going to a different school as well, and with Haru no longer going to the swim club, he'd lost touch. Which, really, was ok with him. Nagisa was honestly loud enough for three people. And he liked scaring Makoto, though Haru had to admit he'd found it amusing.  
  
    It wouldn't be long before Haru would find out that today was going to be a day of memories resurfacing. First the flood of Rin memories in the bath tub that morning, then Nagisa showing up that afternoon. Haru was a bit off-balance from it, though he didn't show it. Seeing Nagisa reminded him even more of those days with Rin, days that were trying to push their way back into his forefront for some stubborn reason, and he was having a hard time pushing them back.  
  
    So when Nagisa had talked about going back to dig up their statue, he'd flat out refused. No, no thank you, no way, too much damn effort. But damn if the little bastard wasn't persistent, and then Makoto got on Nagisa's side, damn him. And Makoto always knew just the right thing to say to get him to go along with something...  
  
    "But there's a pool there."  
  
    Eye-twitch. Damn him, damn him to all seven layers of hell...and then some.  
  
    "A pool is much bigger than a bathtub..." Makoto rubbed his chin, smirking softly.  
  
    Haru turned his head slowly to look at Makoto, his eye still twitching in annoyance, but the acquiescence was there. Fine, he'd go. But he didn't have to be happy about it. After school Nagisa and Makoto followed him home so they could get ready for their little digging expedition. Haru just went to the kitchen to cook up some fish.  
  
    "Fish again?" Makoto whined.  
  
    "No one's forcing you to eat it," Haru said, faint annoyance tingeing his voice. No, he still was not happy about going.  
  
    "Looks delicious!" Nagisa said happily. "Haru always was a good cook!"  
  
    "So...are you sure about this?" Makoto asked, and Haru felt his shoulders tense as he cooked.  
  
    "Weren't you all for it earlier?" Nagisa peered at Makoto, then grinned brightly. "Are you getting scaaaared?" he teased.  
  
    "It's not that...is it okay for just the three of us to dig it up?"  
  
    Haru immediately tuned them out, staring at the fish. Rin again. He closed his eyes as the memory came back again unbidden, Rin telling them he'd be leaving.  The day after the tournament. He placed his hands against the edge of the counter, squeezing his eyes shut more tightly in an effort to force back the memories. Nagisa and Makoto had been tuned out completely.  
  
    "HARU!!"  
  
    "HARU-CHAN!"  
  
    A startled gasp escaped him as the urgent voices crashed into him on either side like angry waves, causing his eyes to shoot open. Then the smell hit him and his nose wrinkled, turning his gaze down to the counter and to the burned fish. Damn. He ignored the questioning looks and dumped the fish into the trash, no longer hungry. Nagisa and Makoto exchanged confused glances.  
  
    "I'm going to go change. You should go and change too."  
  
    Haru turned on his heel and left the kitchen, not looking at either of them and ignoring their worried looks.  
  
  
      
    Haru should have seen it coming, really. First the memories of Rin, which didn't want to go away...Nagisa showing up at their school...going to their old club to dig up the trophy...everything screamed at him that Rin would be there, but he hadn't seen it. And seeing Rin...  
  
   _I'll show you something you've never seen before._  
  
 _Romantic, right?_  
  
 _I'm leaving the day after the tournament..._  
  
 _Leaving..._  
  
 _I don't need this thing anymore._  
  
 _I don't need **you** anymore._  
  
    Haru gasped and jerked awake, opening his eyes.  He sat up and swung his legs over the edge of the bed, rubbing his face. Damn it. He got to his feet and walked over to a small bookshelf, taking out a book he rarely read. He opened it up and looked down at the photo booth film strip hidden within, where Makoto would never see it. Four different pictures, taken after the tournament, he and Rin had gone off alone. The first picture was just him and Rin, Rin giving that sharp-toothed grin of his, and he was just giving the camera his usual stoic stare. The second photo had Rin giving him rabbit ears, and he had a small smile on his face.  
  
    The third photo was the big one, really. He touched it, blushing even now. His first kiss had taken place in a photo booth, and it was caught right there. Rin had just turned his head and planted one right on his mouth, completely unexpected. The final photo was Rin laughing and flashing the victory sign to the camera, and Haru had been ducking his head, face completely red, but the smile on his lips was...complete.  
  
    "Bet you've never seen yourself smile like that before!" Rin had said.  
  
 _Show you something you've never seen before._  
  
    Haru closed the book and put it away, bracing his hands on the wall as he let his head hang between his arms. How long had it been since he'd looked at that picture? It still hurt so much. Each kiss from Makoto took away from the kiss Rin had given him so long ago. Each kiss tightened the net around him. The tears escaped his eyes and dripped down off the end of his nose and he grit his teeth, shoulders shaking with the effort not to just sob, even though no one was around.  
  
    Damn it. He'd been holding up so well, for so long. Makoto loved him, wanted him. But he felt nothing for him. Nothing at all. Makoto was just...there. His best friend, nothing more. He'd thought...hoped...differently before, when they first started dating two years ago. He'd hoped something would grow from it. Nothing. But Makoto was clueless, and Haru had hoped to keep it that way. Rin was gone for good.  
  
    But now he wasn't.  Rin was back, staring him in the face. Rin had changed, and the change hurt Haru to the core. Did Rin hate him? Had he ever really meant anything to Rin at all? Haru was glad he was alone. He sank to his knees and covered his face. What was he going to do now?


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the day after Rin came back into their lives. Haru is still reeling but keeping everything inside best he can. His best bet is to stay as far away from Rin as he can, since it became almost obvious Rin wanted nothing to do with him. But Nagisa and Makoto have other plans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Obviously we're going to start diverging from canon a bit from here on out. Hope you guys enjoy it!

    Haru stared at the ceiling, his arms crossed under his head. He didn't want to get out of bed and was sorely tempted to call in sick for the day. He sighed and rolled over onto his side, staring across the room at the book and its hidden secret he hadn't thought of for so long until last night.  
  
    "Haru-chan, get out of the tu--...wha?"  
  
    Haru heard Makoto's voice come from his attached bathroom and rolled over onto his back, sighing softly. He listened as the footsteps came to the door connecting his room to it and watched as Makoto came into the bedroom, a look of surprise crossing Makoto's face as he found Haru in bed. That hadn't happened before.  
  
    "Haru-chan...are you all right?" Makoto walked to the bed, extending his hand to Haru.  
  
    "Drop the -chan, I told you yesterday..." Haru took the offered hand and pulled himself up, getting to his feet.  
  
    The sheets fell away from his body and Makoto flushed, eyes drifting down until a look of surprise crossed his features, and once more, disappointment.  
  
    "You sleep in your swimsuit!?"  
  
    "You keep hoping to catch me naked, don't you?" Haru raised an eyebrow at Makoto. "That's why you always just walk right in when I'm bathing."  
  
    Makoto's eyes widened and he let out a startled gasp, then tried to look around the room to find something--anything--more interesting to look at, cheeks flushing bright red as he scratched the back of his head. He felt a flash of annoyance though, and turned his gaze on Haru.  
  
    "Well, why should I feel bad about that, Haru-chan?"  
  
    Haru looked up at the change of tone in Makoto's voice, frowning. It was extremely rare for Makoto to sound so...annoyed...with him.  
  
    "Do you try to make me feel ashamed about wanting that? We've dated for TWO YEARS Haru...you'd think I'd have at least gotten to see you naked by now."  
  
    "Tch..." Haru looked away, cheeks flushing a light pink. "If you must."  
  
    "Really?" Makoto's entire demeanor changed, the annoyance gone as he grinned at the other boy. "Now?"  
  
    Haru's eyes widened in surprise and he looked at the other boy. Makoto looked so...pleased, and so eager. Haru supposed he could understand it...he'd managed to hold the other boy off for two years. He'd hoped it could have gone longer, but...obviously not. Of course it would have to be the day after Rin came back, though. He looked away from Makoto but nodded his head, hands moving to hook his thumbs into the waist of his jammers.  
  
    "No!" Makoto moved, grabbing Haru's hands. Startled, Haru turned his head to look at Makoto questioningly, especially after he'd made such a big deal of it. "Let me."  
  
    Haru sighed and turned his head away again, letting his hands fall away from his suit. Makoto grinned, sliding his fingers into Haru's suit in the front, pulling the boy closer firmly. Haru gasped quietly as he felt Makoto's fingers against his skin under his suit, cheeks flushing again. He allowed himself to be pulled flush to Makoto's body and arched involuntarily as Makoto's hands slid around in his suit to the back, brushing over his ass. His hands lifted, resting on Makoto's shoulders, and his firm ass was clenched under Makoto's touch, body trembling.  
  
    "Nervous?" Makoto whispered, nipping Haru's ear, completely misinterpreting the signs of his lover.  
  
    Haru nodded numbly, closing his eyes as he felt Makoto's fingers brushing along his crack. Makoto nuzzled under his chin, making him tilt his head back, and he felt Makoto's tongue sliding down his neck, felt Makoto's lips kiss over his Adam's apple. Those hands moved in his suit, starting to push it down over his ass slowly when the bedroom door banged open, making Haru's eyes snap open in surprise. He'd never been so happy to see Nagisa in his life.  
  
    "Hey guys! Good morning! We're going to be la---oooooh la la!" Nagisa grinned brightly and danced in place. "Am I iiiiiiinteruuuupting something?!" he sing-songed.  
  
    His back turned to Nagisa, Makoto's eye twitched in annoyance. He withdrew his hands and stepped away, coughing and fighting down his blush, adjusting his tie. Haru stepped back and reached behind him, drawing his swimsuit back up.  
  
    "How long have you guys been together?" Nagisa bounced into the room, grinning brightly.  
  
    "Two years," Makoto sighed and crossed his arms, glaring at the other boy good-naturedly. It was hard to be mad at Nagisa, really.  
  
    "Really?!" Nagisa grinned brightly, eyes wide. He laughed and held up his two pointer fingers, poking them together and waggling his eyebrows. "How many times have you...?"  
  
    "NAGISA!!" Makoto frowned. "That...that's personal!"  
  
    "Awww, come oooooon!" Nagisa whined.  
  
    "None," Haru said and pushed his way between them. "I'm going to cook breakfast."  
  
    "None?!" Nagisa said shocked. "Oooh, is it fish? Can I have some?"  
  
    "Was planning on it," Haru said over his shoulder and left.  
  
    Nagisa looked rather pleased with himself, because fish made by Haru was AWESOME. Then he turned to Makoto and ran up to him, grabbing him by the lapels of his blazer and standing on his tip-toes to look eye to eye with him, practically shaking him.  
  
    "HOW HAVE YOU NEVER DONE IT WITH HARU-CHAN HE'S SO SEXY!"  
  
    "It's not for lack of trying.." Makoto mumbled. "And if you hadn't walked in..."  
  
    Nagisa's eyes widened and he gasped, jumping back and bowing repeatedly.  
  
    "Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry Mako-chan! Please forgive me!"  
  
    Makoto sighed and rubbed his face, shaking his head. He reached out and patted Nagisa on the head, causing the other boy to give a pleased little sound, glad Makoto wasn't mad at him. Then he let out a little squeal, eyes widening as Makoto's fingers curled in his hair, gripping it tightly, pulling his head back. Makoto stepped close to Nagisa, making the boy look up at him and leaned in close, his usual smile still on his face.  
  
    "He is sexy though, isn't he? Also...mine. Remember that."  
  
    Makoto let go of Nagisa and patted his head again, turning and heading out of the bedroom. Makoto had never had to worry about Haru before, Haru's cold ways usually kept people at bay and no one took much interest in him, especially after he and Makoto had begun to date. Makoto hadn't anticipated Nagisa coming back, and Nagisa's seeming interest in Haru, calling him sexy, had brought out a jealousy Makoto hadn't really known he had. But he had no intention of losing Haru to anyone, so he was going to make sure it didn't happen.  
  
    Nagisa rubbed his head, frowning as he watched Makoto's retreating back. He walked to the door and peeked out, seeing Makoto at the top of the stairs. He followed quietly, heading to the stairs and waited. He saw Haru, and Makoto was halfway down, and he took in a lungfull of air.  
  
    "DON'T TAKE YOUR BLUEBALLS OUT ON ME MAKO-CHAN!" Nagisa yelled.  
  
    Makoto's shoulders scrunched up and he nearly missed the next step, grabbing the sides of the wall to prevent himself from falling down, eyes going wide with shock. Haru turned from the fish to look at the stairway, an eyebrow raised. Makoto slowly turned his head to bring his twitching gaze onto Nagisa, who grinned brightly and flashed the V sign, before skipping his way down the stairs, pausing when he was close to Makoto. He was turned so his face couldn't be seen by Haru.  
  
    "Do something like that to me again, and you won't like what I scream next..."  
  
    Nagisa turned away and gave a bright, happy grin as he jumped over the last few steps, waving his arms as he airplaned to Haru. Makoto licked his lips nervously and made his way down the stairs, making his way over. Nagisa looked over at him and grinned, smile widening at Makoto's apologetic look and subsequent smile.  
  
    "What was that about?" Haru turned back to the fish he was cooking.  
  
    "Nothing!" Nagisa giggled. "I was just teasing Mako-chan about interrupting you guys."  
  
    "It's fine, we weren't doing anything important."  
  
    "That hurts, Haru!" Makoto pouted, taking a seat.  
  
    "Wanna see me naked instead? I'll dance on the table!" Nagisa laughed brightly.  
  
    "The table is only for fish," Haru said, plating said fish and setting one down for Nagisa.  
  
    "Yay!" Nagisa sat down and dug in hungrily.  
  
    Haru sat down across from Makoto, setting the plate between them with two forks. Nagisa smiled as he watched them eat together over one plate. They were cute together, really, even if Haru was Haru. He went back to eating his food, stealing glances at them from time to time. He could understand Makoto's actions, really. He really wished he had someone, and he'd be really protective if he ever did find the right person, he was sure. He watched them eat, and finally realized what it was that nagged him a little bit about how they did it. Makoto was leaning forward, so he could be closer to Haru. Haru-chan...was sitting up straight, not really making any effort to be close. Nagisa shook his head to himself, finishing off his food. That was just Haru-chan being himself, he supposed.  
  
    Haru cleaned up their dishes and got dressed. The rest of the day passed without incident, really. Mainly because Haru had gotten out of getting in trouble for trespassing by going home early. The furtive glances from Makoto and the innuendo and teasing from Nagisa were annoying, and he just wanted to soak. He was in the tub as soon as he got home, relaxing in the water. His eyes drifted to the dolphin statue Makoto had given to him two years ago...  
  
  
  
    "What's this?" 15-year-old Haru looked at the wrapped box Makoto had set in front of him. "It's not my birthday, you know."  
  
    "I know," Makoto said, blushing, as he sat down across from Haru. "It's just...a gift."  
  
    "Why?" Haru eyed it suspiciously, reaching out and poking the rectangular box with a finger. "It doesn't look like a swimsuit."  
  
    "Why would I get you a swimsuit?" Makoto asked, frowning.  
  
    "Why would you get me a gift?" Haru countered, peering across at the boy.  
  
    "Fine, I'll take it back," Makoto said sadly, frustrated.  
  
    Haru frowned and rested his hand on it, drawing it to him. Makoto looked surprised, but smiled. Haru looked down at it, turning it over in his hands.  
  
    "Oh, come on!" Makoto whined, crossing his arms and pouting. "Are you going to stare at it all day like it's going to explode?!"  
  
    Haru looked across at Makoto and gave a small, amused smile. Makoto relaxed at that but sighed, motioning for Haru to get on with it impatiently. Haru undid the bow and carefully opened the wrapping paper, not one to rip it all apart. He stared at the non-descript box, frowning as it gave no indication of what it held within.  
  
    "Well?"  
  
    "It's a box," Haru stated blandly.  
  
    "I KNOW IT'S A BOX!" Makoto jumped to his feet, flailing his arms. "OPEN IT HARU-CHAN!!"  
  
    Haru simply blinked up at Makoto, the corner of his mouth twitching.  
  
    "Don't laugh at me," Makoto grumped, sitting back down and crossing his arms again, face red.  
  
    "I didn't laugh."  
  
    "For you, that's practically laughing, Haru-chan."  
  
    In a rare moment, Haru actually stuck his tongue out at Makoto before turning his attention back to the box. Makoto was shocked into laughter, grinning widely and shaking his head. Those moments were much rarer than they once had been, so long ago, so he loved when he could invoke them. Haru opened the box, eyes widening as he drew out the beautiful blue dolphin statue held within.  
  
    "I don't understand," Haru said softly, cradling the statue in his hands.  
  
    "You know how when some boys like girls, they'll get them flowers?"  
  
    Haru nodded, looking down at the statue, caressing it with his fingers, tracing the curve of the dolphin.  
  
    "You...aren't exactly the flower sort," Makoto mumbled.  
  
    Haru inhaled sharply, fingers clutching the lovely glass statuette tightly so he wouldn't drop it. His head shot up and he looked across the table at Makoto, his eyes open wide. He opened his mouth, but Makoto shushed him.  
  
    "Haru-chan...you've never dated anyone...or, you know...showed interest in anyone...but..um..we've been friends so long and all, I really like you..."  
  
    "You don't give up, do you?" Haru asked quietly, looking down at the statue.  
  
    "Third time's the charm?" Makoto asked, smiling weakly.  
  
    Haru sighed softly, setting the statue on the table in front of him and looking at it. The first time Makoto had asked him, they were 13. Makoto hadn't noticed it was a year to the day that Rin had left him for good. Haru would never forget the day Rin walked out of his life, however, and that day had been particularly hard for him. It had been easy to flat out refuse Makoto. Makoto hadn't brought it up again, so he'd thought it was the end of it. Until a little over a year later, when Makoto had asked him to a school dance. He'd refused again, and he thought for sure it would be over. Apparently not.  
  
    Rin wasn't coming back, though. Deep down, he'd known that. Makoto was the closest person to him, and the person it made the most sense for him to be with, should he ever be with anyone. He looked up from the statue and to Makoto's hopeful face. He looked away and bowed his head. Makoto clapped his hands, knowing Haru's signs when the boy was finally giving in.  
  
    Makoto got up and moved around, pulling Haru up into a tight hug. Haru allowed it, keeping his arms at his sides. He knew he didn't feel for Makoto the way the other boy felt for him, but maybe..maybe he could. At the very least, Makoto could be happy. The kiss caught him off-guard though, feeling Makoto's lips so suddenly against his own, the other boy kissing him joyously.  
  
    "I'm so glad we could be each other's first kiss, Haru-chan!" Makoto said happily.  
  
    Haru pulled away then, not looking at Makoto as he turned to pick up the dolphin statue. He held it in his hands, moving to head back home.  
  
    "Stop with the -chan," he said over his shoulder, leaving Makoto standing there, happily looking after him.  
  
  
  
    Haru leaned back in the tub, looking away from the little statue. He heard his door bell ringing and ignored it. Makoto would just walk in, after all, so it wasn't anyone important. The bell rang again and Haru simply submerged himself, closing his eyes, letting the water drown out the sound. He surfaced again when it stopped, shaking his head side to side to flip the water from his hair. Two years since that day. Two years and he'd been able to hold Makoto off from taking things any further, until that morning. He knew what happened once the flood gates were open, and they'd been cracked apart. Makoto's flood would push through and overtake him, and he'd have no choice but to lay back and let it wash over him now.  
  
    He sank back under the water, just staring up at the ceiling from under the surface. He didn't know how long he'd been there, but it didn't seem like too long when Makoto appeared, peering down into the water at him with a smile and an extended hand. Haru surface and took Makoto's hand, getting to his feet slowly. Nagisa looked excited, clapping his hands together and leaning forward for a better look...until Haru's bathing suit came into view, then he deflated and hung his head.  
  
    "You bathe with your swimsuit?"  
  
    "Welcome to my world," Makoto huffed, then shot Nagisa a little glare.  
  
    Nagisa caught the glare and pulled down the bottom of his left eye and stuck out his tongue. Haru rolled his eyes and gave a small smile, moving to grab a towel and dry off. Makoto couldn't help but laugh, though he still mouthed 'Mine!' to Nagisa, who just laughed and blew a raspberry. Then he turned to Haru and bounced on the balls of his feet.  
  
    "Haru-chaaaaan! Rin is going to Samezuka, let's go!"  
  
    "No," Haru said, starting to dry his hair. He didn't even have to think about it.  
  
    "Let's visit Samezuka Academy!" Nagisa begged.  
  
    "Don't you want to see Rin?"  
  
    Haru tensed a bit, his hands pausing in their drying.  
  
    "We saw Rin yesterday," he finally said.  
  
    "Here I was thinking you'd finally get to swim if you came," Makoto sighed. Hook.  
  
    Haru froze, towel covering his face, fingers clenching the soft fabric.  
  
    "Samezuka is supposed to have an indoor pool..." Line  
  
    Haru lowered the towel slowly, right eye twitching as he glared at Makoto.  
  
    ...and sinker. Makoto knew he had him then.  
  
    Haru hated having to wait until night fell, but Nagisa and Makoto had made him. It drove him crazy, with the indoor pool RIGHT THERE. Once inside though, all bets...and clothes...were off. Well, except for his suit. Though, Nagisa was the one naked. Haru noticed as he swam and could only really be amused. Nagisa had no shame whatsoever. Haru just floated. At least...until Rin showed up. He heard it vaguely.  
  
    "GET OUT!!"  
  
    Haru flipped over and dove under the water, swimming between Makoto and Nagisa, surfacing and looking down at the water, wet hair hanging over his eyes. He couldn't look up at Rin right now.  
  
    "Free..." he said quietly, catching everyone by surprise.  
  
    Rin stared down at Haru, eyes widening.  
  
    "Did you forget?"  
  
    Haru kept his gaze on the water.  
  
    "I told you I only swim freestyle."  
  
    Haru ignored the two behind him. Rin kept his gaze on Haru, lips parted. Makoto stepped forward, reaching out to touch Haru's shoulder. Rin's eyes flicked to Makoto's hand, remembered back at their old club how Makoto had hugged on Haru, was quite close to the other boy in fact. Haru moved away from the touch and pulled himself out of the water, getting to his feet in front of Rin. He shook his head in his usual way, flipping the water from his hair.  
  
    Rin was in front of him now. Rin was...right there. In touching distance. Kissing distance. He never thought he'd be so close to Rin again. His eyes locked on the other boy, searching. Almost desperate. He had to choose his words carefully, and then it came to him, just what he could say...what he could say and not have anyone figure it out.  
  
    "I want you to show me that sight again," Haru said, eyes seeking out Rin's, watching them widen. "I've forgotten what it is I saw."  
  
    Rin's mind flashed back to when they were kids. To the photo booth pictures. He caught the look in Haru's eyes. The pleading. And Rin smelled blood in the water. A shark's favorite scent. It caused a frenzy, and those lips slowly parted, razor-sharp teeth coming into view.  
  
    "Does _Mako-chan_..." the tone was taunting, "...not put that smile on your face, Haru-chan?"  
  
    Haru's eyes shot open in shock, lips parting.  
  
    "What?" Makoto moved towards the edge of the pool, staring, confused.  
  
    "Tsk..." Rin laughed, hands in his pockets. "I'll show you something you've never seen before. But this time...it will be something completely different."  
  
    Makoto climbed out of the water, followed by Nagisa. Nagisa quickly pulled his clothes back on, flushing at the disdainful look Rin tossed his way. Haru walked over to the starting block as Rin stripped down, standing on his own block.  
  
    "I can't make any sense of you...wanting to chase me down, in front of your boyfriend."  
  
    "Whatever." Haru pulled on his goggles and swim cap, not looking over at Makoto to gauge his reaction.  "You better get ready, Rin."  
  
    "You're as icy as ever..." Rin ran his tongue over his sharp teeth, grinning. He watched Makoto's confused, oblivious reaction...saw the jealousy start to well up in those eyes. "Yeah...you really piss me off."  
  
    Haru turned to hazard a glance at Makoto. Makoto was looking between him and Rin before those eyes settled on him again, and the look in them made Haru...uncomfortable.  
  
    "Makoto...give us the start signal."  
  
    Makoto blinked and shook his head, clearing his eyes. He nodded his agreement.  
  
    "We'll swim 100 meters...freestyle," Haru said, taking his position.  
  
    "Ready...go!"  
  
    The race was on. Haru was back in the water with Rin...and it felt like it had their last time together. Violent, furious. But now he was trying to keep up with the predator rather than swim away from it as fast as he could. He was trying to re-harmonize himself, his soul with the water...with Rin. Rin was there, just in reach...if only he could get through to him.  
  
     _Save me from this net that's been cast over me._  
  
    _Rin..._  
  
    Rin finished ahead of Haru and stood in triumph. Haru's hands smacked the wall seconds later and he got to his feet. He pulled off his swim cap and tugged his goggles down around his neck, breathing heavily. Maybe...maybe now that Rin beat him, things would change...he turned to Rin, the smile on his face hopeful.  
  
    "You win. That's great, Rin."  
  
    "That's great?" Rin growled and snatched Haru by the goggles around his neck, pulling him close.  
  
    Haru was taken by surprise at the sudden anger, the violence in the grip. His chest was pressed against Rin's, the swim lane digging into their stomachs.  
  
    "HEY! Leave him alone!" Makoto cried out, surprised by Rin's actions.  
  
    Haru wasn't struggling in Rin's grip, his eyes still wide, locked on Rin. He was barely breathing as he stared at the other boy, so close. Rin laughed, his predatory grin Haru as they locked gazes. He jerked Haru closer, bringing their faces nearer together, Haru's eyes widening even more, moving back just a faint inch so he could say he could.  
  
    "Let my boyfriend go!" Makoto was at the edge of the pool now, fists clenched at his sides, ready to dive in and tackle Rin away lest he hurt Haru. He had no idea.  
  
    Rin laughed and pushed Haru away from him.  
  
    "Funny how you think he's yours..." Rin said darkly.  
  
    And then all the lights in the pool came on.  
  
    They'd been caught.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of the pool altercation causes the jealousy in Makoto to erupt. Things get heated and Haru manages to get Makoto to walk Nagisa home instead of furthering the confrontation.
> 
> Rin watched it happen and actually confronts Haru about what he saw. 
> 
> Things get further compounded when Makoto comes across Coach Sasabe and he realizes just why Haru quit swimming. He realizes Haru may not belong to him as much as he thought...he may not have been Haru's first kiss, but he WILL be Haru's first.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This...was a really, really hard chapter to write, I'm not even going to lie. There is a LOT of angst in this chapter, I am warning you now. Rating changed for this and future chapters.
> 
> **_WARNING!!!_  
>  CONSENT ISSUES is tagged for a REASON. Haru is consenting but does not want what is happening, and Makoto is not picking up on that fact. This is not an easy chapter to read(nor was it easy to write), and this is the worst chapter of the series.**

    Haru walked out of the gymnasium alongside Nagisa and Makoto. His hands were in his pockets, eyes skyward as they walked away from Samezuka Academy. They'd gotten off easy, to say the least, though the teacher told them he'd be notifying their school of the trespass. He saw Makoto walking alongside him out of the corner of his eye but said nothing, Rin's hateful taunting running through his head.  
  
    "What did he mean, Haruka?"  
  
    Haru's steps slowed as he looked over at Makoto, the use of his full name catching his attention almost immediately. The other boy's eyes were locked on him, questioning...accusing? He looked away again, shrugging his shoulders. He hadn't expected Rin to react that way...in his own way he'd asked Rin to save him, and instead Rin had tightened the net around him.  
  
    "I didn't think Rin-chan could be so mean!" Nagisa came up on the other side of Haru, pouting up at him. "Did something happen between you two before he left Haru-chan?"  
  
    Haru turned his head to face forward, clenching his jaw. He quickened his steps to put himself ahead of Makoto and Nagisa, most definitely NOT wanting to have this conversation here and now. Not ever, if he could help it. Makoto was quick though, hand shooting out to grip Haru's upper arm, fingers digging into the muscle through the shirt. The grip was hard, and Haru's eyes jerked open as he was yanked back roughly and turned around, forced to face Makoto, the jealousy starting to burn in the other boy's eyes.  
  
    "Don't walk away from us, Nanase!"  
  
    Haru nearly cried out from the rough handling, but he managed to pull his stoic mask back over his face, staring into those hurt, jealous eyes of his best friend.  
  
    "So now you finally drop the -chan," was all he could really find to say.  
  
    The reaction was instantaneous, that hand let go of his arm and Haru only had a split second to feel relieved before it came down hard across his face, sending his head jerking to the side. A gasp escaped his lips, eyes wide, trembling as the shock of the slap ran through his body. Makoto had hit him.  
  
    "MAKO-CHAN!" Nagisa's horrified shout came from the side.  
  
    Haru raised his hand slowly to touch his cheek. His tongue tasted a bit of blood from his lip. Makoto was strong, and that slap had all Makoto's strength behind it. He turned his head to face Makoto again, the shock and hurt evident in his gaze. Makoto at least had the decency to look utterly shocked at what he'd just done. He clenched the hand he'd slapped Haru with into a fist and dropped it to his side, eyes welling with tears. He allowed Nagisa to come between them, pushing him back away from Haru.  
  
    "Haru-chan..." Makoto pleaded. "Haru-chan, I...."  
  
    "Stop." Haru dropped his hand away from his cheek, licking the blood from his lips. "I'm fine..."  
  
    "I'm sorry..." Makoto whispered.  
  
    "I said I'm fine. Walk Nagisa home. I can make it by myself."  
  
    "You can tuck me in!" Nagisa said cheerfully, grabbing Makoto's arm. He forced a smile, trying to lighten the mood. "I promise I won't make moves on your boyfriend, Haru-chan!" Nagisa called as he tugged Makoto away, waving.  
  
    "Tch," Haru murmured and watched them go. He turned to walk away when something caught his eye, glancing back at the school.  
  
    His eyes moved upward, breath catching in his throat as he saw Rin standing in one of the windows, staring down at him. Haru saw the look of utter disgust and anger on the other boy's face, lips drawn back in an angry snarl. Haru turned away in shame as Rin angrily yanked the curtains closed, hanging his head. He needed to go home and soak.  
  
    He hadn't gotten very far from the school when he heard footsteps pounding behind him. Someone was running, and quite hard, from behind him.  
  
    "HAAAAARUUUUUUUUU!" the voice roared.  
  
    Haru stopped in his tracks, shock crossing his features. Was...but...Rin?! And twice in a night he felt himself manhandled, hands gripping his shoulders and forcing him around to face the seething visage of the shark-toothed boy now before him. The boy's hands gripped his shoulders tightly, but not as hard as Makoto had gripped his arm. Haru just stared up at Rin in shock, confused, wondering why the other boy was in front of him. What had he done now? How had he pissed Rin off this time?  
  
    "I was just leaving, you didn't have to run out here to chase me away," Haru managed to say.  
  
    Rin growled and shook his head, disbelieving as he looked down at Haru. He let go of the other boy's shoulders to grip him by the front of his shirt, yanking him close and forcing Haru up on his toes.  
  
    "What's happened to you?" Rin growled.  
  
    Haru flushed at their proximity and shifted his feet to try and get better balance.  
  
    "I could ask you the same question."  
  
    "We're not discussing me right now," Rin growled. "How could you?"  
  
    That...wasn't a question he expected. He looked at Rin, confused, and stumbled when the other boy suddenly let his shirt go. He caught his balance and gasped when he felt Rin's hand around his neck, other hand forcing his head to the side so Rin could get a better look at the hand-shaped bruise forming on his face.  
  
    "Angry it wasn't you?"  Haru had already dug himself into a hole. He may as well make it deeper.  
  
    Rin's hands jerked away as if burned and Haru adjusted his shirt. He glanced back up at Rin and couldn't make out the look in the other boy's eyes.  
  
    "Angry that this is how far you've let yourself fall. No wonder I beat you."  
  
    Haru watched Rin turn and walk away. He hung his head and turned away as well. He made his way back home, the first thing on his mind being the bath tub. He left a trail of his clothes up the stairs and in the hall, left only in his suit once he was in the bathroom.  With the water hot as he could stand, he filled the tub and slipped in, curling up in the water. Only once he was submerged did he allow himself to cry.  
  
      
    The next morning had Nagisa following the trail of clothes to the bathroom. Nagisa pushed open the door and stared at the tub with Haru in it, arm hanging over the edge of the tub, head limply against the back of the tub, eyes closed. Haru's lips were a bit blue, and the other boy wasn't moving, hadn't even reacted to Nagisa's entrance. Nagisa turned and ran.  
  
    "What is it?" Makoto said as Nagisa pulled him urgently inside and upstairs, his heart stopping.  
  
    "HARUKA!"  
  
    Haru jumped, eyes opening groggily. His sudden jerk caused him to slip and he was almost instantly wide awake as his head slipped under the cold water of the tub. He sat up, gasping and shivering, looking around in confusion.  
  
    "What? What is it?"  
  
    Nagisa whimpered and sank to his knees, staring at Haru in shock and disbelief.  
  
    "WE THOUGHT YOU WERE DEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAD!" Nagisa wailed, bursting into tears.  
  
    Makoto sank onto the toilet, clutching his chest as he took deep, steadying gasps. That was a sight that was going to haunt him forever, he just knew it.  
  
    "As if I'd drown," Haru said, getting to his feet and stepping out of the tub, shivering. He looked down at himself, grabbing a towel as he began to dry off his overly pruned skin.  
  
    He couldn't remember what time he'd fallen asleep, really. It couldn't have been too long ago. He'd drained and refilled the tub at least three times last night with hot water. He couldn't sleep, and he needed to be in the water after last night's events. Nagisa was still on the floor crying while Makoto seemed to be recovering well enough. Haru stepped over to Nagisa and tapped him on the head, causing the boy to sniffle and wipe his nose, looking up at him.  
  
    "Let me get dressed, I'll make some mackerel."  
  
    That cheered Nagisa up immediately. He smiled and clapped his hands, jumping to his feet. Unfortunately he hadn't given Haru time to move away, and thus wailed in pain when the top of his head smacked into Haru under the chin. Haru's head snapped back and he staggered, legs hitting the sides of the tub, teetering dangerously and nearly toppling into the water. Makoto was right there however and stood up, catching Haru in his arms before the boy fell backwards.  
  
    "Haru-chan! I'm so sorry! Please forgive me! I'm sorry! I was just so excited for you to cook, I forgot you were standing right over me! Please don't hate me!"  
  
    Haru, still dazed, sighed softly. Somehow he'd managed to NOT bite his tongue, which was a good thing because he'd likely have bitten it in half. He bruised easily, however, and could already feel the new bruise forming. He shifted in Makoto's arms as the other boy stood him up straight and he saw the sorrow in the other boy's eyes. Makoto's fingers brushed the hand-print on his cheeks, then drifted down to the line of circular bruises over the pale skin of his upper arm.  
  
    "Haru..."  
  
    "It's fine," Haru cut him off again."But I'm not going to school today."  
  
    Makoto didn't argue. Haru watched him turn to Nagisa and move over to the smaller boy, parting his hair to look for any obvious injury. Haru left them to it as he moved through the door into his bedroom, pulling on a pair of sweat pants over his suit. He pulled on a warm-up jacket as well, then made his way down to start the promised fish for Nagisa.  He got down the plates as the fish cooked. He had a third one in his hands, staring at it. He saw his reflection in the plate, the bruises standing out starkly against his skin. Closing his eyes, he sighed and put the plate away, putting a fork on Nagisa's and two on his own.  
  
    When Nagisa and Makoto came back down, the fish was ready and on the table. Haru had already taken a few bites and he glanced up when the other two finally joined him. Makoto looked incredibly relieved, eyes on the plate with two forks as he sat down across from Haru, giving the boy a timid smile. Haru looked away, but instead of looking to the right as he usually did, he looked away to the left, so his bruised cheek was hidden from Makoto.  
  
    They didn't talk over breakfast that morning. Last night still hung in the air between them. Nagisa's unanswered question lingered, wanting to be asked, steadily ignored by Haru. He could feel both boys stealing glances at him,and he steadily ignored that, too. He looked down at the mackerel, setting his fork down. He really wanted to go into the ocean, float in the waves.  
  
    "It won't be much longer, you know," Makoto said, interrupting his thoughts.  
  
    "Hm?" Haru blinked, looking up at the boy.  
  
    "The ocean will be warm soon enough for you." Makoto tilted his head, smiling.  
  
    Haru bit his lip and glanced down, lips turning up in the tiniest of smiles. Relieved, Makoto set his fork down and leaned across the table, brushing his lips across Haru's gently. He knew he was forgiven. Haru cleared the plates, putting them into the wash as Makoto and Nagisa headed off for school. Then he went up and fell into bed, promptly falling to sleep for the next few hours.  
  
    Haru met Kou later that day for the first time in many years. He agreed to join the swim club with Nagisa and Makoto, knowing Rin was likely aiming to beat him again. He was glad to be in the kitchen cooking up some squid when Kou was talking about Rin's yearly visits, though, that way no one would see the way he reacted. He only met with Rin on the first visit. He'd seen the boy on other ones, but Rin had resolutely ignored him.  
  
    Nagisa was the one who got the ball rolling the next day, getting hold of the club form and setting everything up. Haru was surprised to see Nagisa take control the way he did and how prepared he was to get things started. He couldn't help feeling impressed and a little bit proud, really. What he hadn't expected, however, was to have to fix and repair the pool on their own. But Nagisa took charge of that, too. And Haru had to admit, the thought of having what basically amounted to their own pool spurred him on, and he worked hard.  
  
    Perhaps a little bit too hard. When they needed a fourth member, the art club tried to kidnap him after watching him draw and paint a swim poster, and Nagisa had clutched him, gushing about his artistic talent. He felt like he was being pulled in two. Then he had to carve those stupid figures. He lost count after 100. But no one wanted his little figures, either. Damn it, he knew he should have carved dolphins.  
  
    When Kou joined, Haru couldn't help a small smile as he worked on the pool. Their club would be officially opened now, and when the pool was done, all their work wouldn't be for naught. He'd be able to swim again. He'd be able to practice, and work hard, and face Rin again. Maybe he could get the old Rin back.  The pool was finished for the day and Haru wiped the sweat from his brow.He couldn't wait to get home and get into the tub.  
  
    Haru wasn't sure what time it was when he heard the door slam open downstairs. It was late at night. He got out of the tub, frowning, grabbing a towel. He began to dry himself off and was nearly smacked in the face by the door as he made to head out, though thankfully it missed him...but by mere inches. Haru blinked at Makoto standing in the doorway, glaring at him.  
  
     _Damn._  
  
    Haru sighed and turned away from Makoto, moving to the other door leading into his bedroom instead. He stepped through, starting to dry off, and Makoto followed him as he knew the other boy would. He didn't know what it was this time,  but once again something had brought the jealousy back into Makoto's eyes.  
  
    "They started tearing down the swim club tonight."  
  
    "Hn," was all Haru had to saw about it. He didn't care.  
  
    "I met someone there. Coach Sasabe."  
  
    Haru paused, hands on the towel over his head. His shoulders tensed almost immediately, which he knew wouldn't be missed by Makoto's accusing glare.  
  
    "Why is Rin so important to you that you quit swimming over hurting him? That you gave up something that is a part of you for him?"  
  
    Haru inwardly cursed Sasabe, the bastard. He lowered the towel and tossed it to the hamper, head turning to the small goggles he had hanging on his wall near his bed.  
  
    "I always wondered about those," Makoto said, following Haru's look. "I knew those weren't yours, you know. But like an idiot, I could never figure it out."  
  
    "Makoto..." Haru frowned, not sure what to say. He wasn't good at situations like this.  
  
    Haru felt Makoto's hands on him and he was slammed up against the wall, grunting as Makoto gripped his arms roughly. He leaned his head back against the wall, looking up at the taller boy, those eyes on his. He saw the tears welling up in them and turned his eyes away, not saying anything. His mind idly wondered what it was about him that screamed to the men in his life 'MANHANDLE ME PLEASE!'  
  
    "Nagisa mentioned it when I was taking him home. The day of the relay, you and Rin went off together. I'd completely forgotten. After the race."  
  
    Haru closed his eyes, unable to look at Makoto now. Nagisa was added to the list of people he was silently cursing. Makoto's grip tightened on his arms, and he felt the other boy's nails digging into his flesh. He let out a small, pained gasp, which only seemed to spur Makoto on more, as the boy pulled him away from the wall and smacked him back into it again.  
  
    "What aren't you telling me, Haruka!? You didn't tell us about Rin coming back for the winter. You quit after that race. What happened when you two went off together?"  
  
    Haru squeezed his eyes more tightly shut. What could he say to Makoto? What could he say that wouldn't completely hurt his best friend? His eyes opened slowly and he turned them up to Makoto. He chose to say nothing instead. He could tell Makoto saw the tears he was fighting to not let spill down his cheeks. He knew Makoto would be hurt either way. Haru inhaled sharply when Makoto's hand closed around his neck, squeezing down roughly, the realization dawning in the other boy's eyes.  
  
    "I wasn't your first kiss, was I?"  
  
    Haru didn't fight. His hands were at his sides, resting against the wall. His heart was pounding in his chest, but his eyes stayed locked on Makoto's. He felt the tears spill over and roll down his cheeks. He hated to see Makoto hurting, and he was the cause now. First Rin, now Makoto. But he couldn't help it. He'd tried so hard to keep it secret.  
  
    "What else did you give him, Haru?"  
  
    "Nothing," Haru managed to gasp softly, swallowing against the hand on his neck.  
  
    Makoto seemed to see the truth there, for his neck was released. He raised his hands to touch the marks he knew would be there, but Makoto grabbed his wrists, pinning them to the wall. The boy leaned in, kissing over the bruises there.He licked the skin, giving soft bites to the flesh. Haru made a small sound, head tilting back for Makoto, his eyes closing.  
  
    "I've never seen you so bruised and helpless, Haru-chan," Makoto breathed against his neck. "It makes me so hard."  
  
    Haru felt his gut clench, eyes widening as he stared up at the ceiling. He felt Makoto's tongue sliding down over his neck, trembled when he felt the other boy nibbling at the base. He kept his eyes upward, let Makoto pull his arms up over his head. Makoto crossed his wrists and held them with one hand, and he felt Makoto's lips and teeth over his smooth underarm. He gasped, back arching at the sharp bite he felt there. The blunt teeth.  
  
    "Are you wishing it were Rin right now, Haru-chan?" Makoto growled into the skin, dragging the nails of his free hand down Haru's side.  
  
    "No," Haru gasped, truthfully.  He didn't want Rin to be the one doing to him what Makoto was doing to him.  
  
    Makoto seemed pleased and pulled Haru away from the wall, pushing him towards the bed. Haru stumbled but moved to the bed, sliding onto it and turning to face Makoto. He knew the minute...the very second he told the boy to stop, he would. He'd never seen this side of Makoto before...the anger, the aggression...it was his fault. He shouldn't have kept secrets. He should have tried harder to love Makoto. He'd put Makoto off for years. The build up, pent up desire was his fault.  
  
    "Do you want me to stop, Haru-chan?" Makoto advanced on the boy, grinning, licking his lips.  
  
   _Yes yes yes yes._  
  
    "Well?"  
  
    "No," Haru said, averting his gaze.  
  
    "I'm going to make you mine for good, Haru. Are you ready for that?"  
  
    "Yes," Haru said after a moment, laying back.  
  
    Makoto grinned and watched Haru cross an arm over his face to hide his eyes. Haru couldn't look at Makoto right now, but thankfully Makoto didn't take it that way. He felt the weight shift on the bed when Makoto knelt upon it, his chest rising a bit as he inhaled sharply and held his breath. The touch was expected but it still made him jump, Makoto's fingers trailing his skin around the waist of his jammers. He felt Makoto's fingers hook into the suit and pull it down his slender hips, exposing his shaved pubic area and limp cock.  
  
    "You're so beautiful," he heard Makoto say, voice filled with adoration.  
  
    Haru lifted his hips as Makoto continued to pull the suit down and off and he heard it hit the floor near his bedside. His cheeks flushed, never having been naked before another person before.  He'd always showered in his suit, as had everyone else back then...they were only kids after all, each embarrassed to be seen naked. He made a small sound in the back of his throat when Makoto grasped his uncut shaft, feeling the other boy stroke him.  
  
    "Maybe you need something else to make you respond to me?"  
  
    Haru felt Makoto spread his long, lean legs, pushing one towards his chest. Makoto's other hand rubbed along his crack, eliciting a gasp from him. Haru trembled when he felt the boy's finger rub around his hole, then cried out in pain when Makoto thrust it deeply into him. He clenched tightly around the invading digit as it dug deeply into him, writhing and crying out as Makoto rubbed it inside him roughly, no preparation.  
  
    "Stop!" Haru finally cried out.  
  
    Makoto almost didn't, he could feel it in the way the finger twitched inside him. Haru relaxed when he felt the finger remove itself and let his arm fall away from his face.  
  
    "Is it because I'm not Rin?"  
  
    Haru looked up at Makoto, the look on the boy's face hurting almost as much as the finger had. He looked away, swallowing and taking a deep breath. He could say it...he could say it right now, and he and Makoto would be over. But he didn't think Makoto would get over it. Could he do it? He wanted to...he really, really wanted to...the way his best friend had treated him, he never thought it would have happened. But he still blamed himself...  
  
    "Bathroom," Haru finally said.  
  
    "Huh?"  
  
    "Bathroom.." Haru swallowed hard, cheeks flushing. "V...vaseline...you can't go in dry like that."  
  
    Haru watched the realization and embarrassment flood Makoto's face.  
  
    "I hurt you..."  
  
    Haru just nodded and shifted, but he kept his legs splayed a bit, letting Makoto's eyes roam over him.  
  
    "You...you still want to go on? Are...are you sure?"  
  
    "Fuck me..." Haru turned his head, the flush on his cheeks apparent, "...Mako-chan."  
  
    He knew that would do it. He couldn't remember the last time he called Makoto Mako-chan...had he ever? It didn't matter. He saw the arousal rise in Makoto's eyes, and the other boy disappeared into the bathroom. He lay back and hid his eyes with his arm again. He heard Makoto come in and felt the bed shift when the boy got between his legs again. He felt Makoto's bare leg against his thigh...apparently the boy had stripped on the way back in.  
  
    The fingers slipped into him much more easily now, slicked with the lube from the bathroom. He arched his back as he felt Makoto start to work him over, first one digit, then two. Makoto twisted and scissored those fingers inside his tightness, stretching him, causing him to gasp whenever they were pushed in a little too firmly. It wasn't long before Haru felt the fingers slip out of him, Makoto spreading his legs, his ankles on Makoto's shoulders.  
  
    Haru brought his other hand up, biting down on his curled index finger when Makoto breached him. Haru knew what happened when the flood gates opened, after all. They had been cracked before, but now they were shattered, washed away completely. Haru could do nothing as he let the flood waters wash over him in his mind, eyes shut tightly under his arm and biting down harder on his finger as he felt Makoto move inside him. He just lay back and let them wash over him, feeling himself drowning in the waters that were Makoto. He had only one thought....  
  
     _Rin._


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nagisa has seen enough and he forces Makoto to take a walk with him, while Kou sits down and has a talk with Haruka. Haru knew a set-up when he saw one, but there wasn't much he could do about it. What he didn't know was that Rin would make an appearance, and that sends the whole situation in a spiral. Makoto's forced to face the truth of what he's done, while Rin seems to be facing the truth of what he lost...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't think Haru will ever forgive me for introducing that nickname... >_> Enjoy! This chapter is definitely not quite as dark and disturbing as the last.

    The next morning, thankfully, was Saturday. Haru pushed himself up and got out of bed, his gaze turned away from the nude, sleeping form on the bed with him. He went to the bathroom and then started the tub, checking the water with his fingers before sliding in carefully, wincing at the feel of it. He shifted in the tub to lay on his side, eyes on the dolphin statue he kept in the bathroom, the one given to him by Makoto years ago.   
  
    He heard the bell ringing from downstairs and sighed to himself, but then he heard Makoto starting to move in the other room. The floorboards creaked in the hall and Haru let his head slide under the water, figuring Makoto would deal with whoever was at the door.  He resurfaced again when he heard the bathroom door open, seeing Nagisa following Makoto inside.   
  
    "How long have you been up?"  
  
    "Not long," Haru murmured. "I need a suit."  
  
    "I'll get it!" Nagisa chirped, bouncing into Haru's bedroom.  
  
    Haru watched Nagisa return, the look on the boy's face rather serious. Nagisa walked to the tub and handed Haru the suit, and Haru shifted to slide it on gingerly under the water. Nagisa's eyes moved over Haru...neck, arms, wrists.  
  
    "You should get dressed, Makoto."  
  
    Haru took Nagisa's hand when it was offered, getting to his feet, though his eyes were on Makoto. The boy was wearing a pair of his sweat pants and nothing more. It took Makoto a moment to realize that the nearly toneless, hard voice came from Nagisa and not Haru. Haru was taken a bit by surprise as well, but he said nothing, instead taking a towel and drying off as Nagisa turned to face the unmoving Makoto.  
  
    "I want to go for a walk. Get. Dressed." Nagisa pushed Makoto towards the bedroom, then turned, giving Haru a bright, happy smile. "How about you make some mackerel?"  
  
    Haru stared at Nagisa, trying to fathom what it was he just saw. Nagisa simply smiled and flashed a thumbs up, tilting his head. Haru decided to let it go, figuring it was better not to ask right now and walked by, making his way down the stairs to start the fish. For once, he wasn't very hungry, but he would make it for Nagisa. He put the apron on over his suit, getting the mackerel ready to cook.   
  
    Nagisa came down with Makoto in tow, literally, both arms wrapped around one of Makoto's as he pulled the boy along behind him. Nagisa pushed open the door, nearly catching Kou with it, leaving a startled look on the girl's face.   
  
    "Hi, Gou!" he called, pulling Makoto by.  
  
    "Kou!"  
  
    "Bye, Gou!" he said as he kept walking by, waving.  
  
    "KOU!" she shouted, clenching her fists and stomping her foot.   
  
    Haru looked to the door and sighed. Great. Kou made her way in, her face softening when she saw Haru. Her eyes took on the starry quality they had the first time she'd seen him shirtless and Haru looked away, huffing. He didn't notice when the look faded from her eyes upon seeing the new marks. She looked down to her phone, making her way over and sitting down at the table. Her fingers moved over its keys before she put it away, looking over towards Haru.  
  
    "I met you again a little bit after you raced Rin at Samezuka, right?"  
  
    Haru looked over his shoulder at her, wondering where this was going.  
  
    "I didn't say anything, but of course, I noticed the bruises on your cheek, and your chin..I know now Nagisa accidentally caused the second one, but...I thought Rin had..." she hung her head, tracing idle patterns on the table.  
  
    Sighing, Haru set the fish back in the fridge and idly wondered if Nagisa had planned this. He poured two cups of hot tea, setting one down in front of Kou before he settled down himself, eyes on her. Kou looked at him, surprised, and she took the cup in her hands to warm them, taking a slow sip.  
  
    "I was so angry, I made him meet with me and we went to his dorm. I yelled at him for hurting you, and that's when he told me what he saw. I..I've never seen him so angry, Haru..."  
  
    Haru looked away, his tea sitting untouched in front of him.  
  
    "He told me he got in trouble that night, after seeing you. He went back to his dorm...Haru, he punched a hole in the wall, nearly broke his hand."  
  
    Haru's eyes went wide and he turned to look at her. He remembered the sheer disgust on Rin's face that night, remember feeling that it...that Rin's anger...had been directed at him. Had he been wrong?   
  
    "I joined the team because I thought you, Makoto, and Nagisa are the only ones who could help Rin be back to how he used to be. I miss the way he was..." Kou hung her head, taking a slow sip of the hot tea.  
  
    Haru looked away from her, looking up towards his bedroom. He was thinking of the goggles, of the photo strip. Two different sides of Rin, he thought. The photo strip from when he was so happy, so...Rin. The goggles from that fateful race, where Rin had walked off and never looked back.   
  
    "He'll deny it, I know...but from what I've seen, he still cares. He may not act like it...and he tries to hide it...but I know he does. The way he reacted, the things he shouted..."   
  
    Her phone buzzed and she pulled it out, looking at the screen. A look of surprise crossed her face followed by a little smile, and she set the phone down on the table.  
  
    "And especially, what he asked me to do," she said quietly, turning the phone.  
  
    Haru blinked, eyes drifting down to the screen, seeing the message there.   
  
   **New Message**  
 **Matsuoka, Rin**  
 **_BRT._**  
  
    BRT? Haru's brows knit together, then it hit him. BRT...his eyes shot open wide, and he looked to Kou, shocked. Be right there. Right where? He couldn't mean...  
  
    "Here?"   
  
    Kou nodded, and Haru felt like he could barely breathe. He took a deep breath, gripping the side of the table as he stared at her.   
  
    "He knew you were coming today?"  
  
    Again, Kou nodded. Haru looked away, then jumped to his feet and whipped off the apron, heading for the front door. Makoto and Nagisa were still outside.   
  
    "Haru! Where are you going?!" Kou was startled by the sudden movement and got up to follow.   
  
    Haru ran out, looking around to see where Nagisa and Makoto could have gone. He caught sight of them down the road, with Makoto's head bowed and arms crossed, Nagisa heatedly waving his arms and speaking. He sighed and looked over, catching sight of Rin just as Rin caught sight of Nagisa and Makoto.  
  
    "MAKOTO!" Rin's shout caused the pair to jump.  
  
    Rin sprinted straight for them, and Haru took off from where he was bare feet smacking against the pavement as he ran. Makoto could only stare in shock as Rin made straight for him, and Nagisa caught sight of Haru, mouth open. Haru put on a burst of speed and threw himself in Rin's path, arms wide. Rin tried to backpedal, but they were too close. His body slammed into Haru's and Rin did what he could in that split second, wrapping his arms around the other boy and twisting his body so Haru landed on top of him . Rin's back hit the ground hard and they slid across the pavement, arms wrapped tightly around Haru.   
  
    "Haru-chan! Rin-chan! Are you all right?!" Nagisa ran over, though Makoto stayed where he was, watching.   
  
    Haru and Rin stared at each other, faces inches apart, then Rin turned his head away, pushing at Haru's shoulders. Haru got to his feet, wincing a bit. He'd roughed up his feet pretty nicely sprinting across the gravel and pavement to block Rin's way. He ignored it though and reached out, offering his hand to help Rin up. Rin glared at it, then reached out, taking it slowly and pulling himself to his feet.  
  
    "You ruined my track suit," he accused.   
  
    "You could have let me take the brunt of the fall."  
  
    Rin looked away. Haru turned, starting to limp back towards the house.   
  
    "Haru-chan...you're hurt..." Nagisa frowned.  
  
    "I'm fine."  
  
    "Tch," Rin shook his head.   
  
    Rin walked up behind Haru and lifted him before the other boy could protest. One arm supporting Haru's back, the other under Haru's knees, he had the boy in a bridal carry. Haru was shocked but said nothing, looking up at Rin. Rin met Haru's gaze and sighed, the tenseness slowly melting away from his body.  
  
    "You're such an idiot," he said quietly.  
  
    Haru looked away, cheeks going lightly pink as he put one arm around Haru's neck to make the position a little more comfortable. Rin carried Haru home slowly, and his head slowly turned towards Makoto as they passed. If looks could kill, Makoto would be dead ten times over. Makoto averted his gaze, but not before Rin...and Haru...saw that he'd been crying.   
  
    "Stop," Haru murmured.  
  
    "What?"  
  
    "Stop moving."  
  
    Frowning, Rin did, but he looked at Haru curiously. Haru didn't say anything and turned his head to look back at Makoto. Nagisa had come up beside the boy, looking at him worriedly. Makoto looked back and saw Haru looking and he swallowed hard, but forced himself not to look away. It was awkward, but Haru reached his free hand over his head a bit towards Makoto. Rin tensed again and grit his teeth, but said nothing. Biting his lip, Makoto moved forward, tentatively reaching out and taking Haru's hand. Haru pulled Makoto a bit until he was standing to Rin's left, which made the position of his arm a bit easier, though it forced Rin and Makoto to stand uncomfortable close together, side by side.  
  
    Rin rolled his eyes but bit his tongue for now, because Haru closed his eyes then and looked peaceful. It was the first time in a little over four years that the three of them had been so close together, each having some form of contact with the other. Rin had to coordinate his steps with Makoto's, and it was really a good thing Rin had his arms full--with Haru, no less--since he couldn't lash out at Makoto. Nagisa trailed along behind them, grinning much like a villain whose master plan had worked out perfectly.   
  
    Rin made to go up to Haru's room, since it felt almost like Haru had fallen asleep, but Nagisa stopped him. He didn't argue with the little blonde, because he had a don't-fuck-with-me look that Rin didn't want to test out at the moment. Rin went to put the sleeping Haru on the couch, but he couldn't dislodge the arm around his neck, nor could Makoto extract his hand. Letting out a little growl, Rin maneuvered them so he and Makoto sat down, with Haru practically across their laps. Rin gave Haru a little shake, but when the steady breathing didn't change and the eyes stayed closed, he gave up.  
  
    "If I had my way," Rin began when he figured Haru was dead to the world, "I'd tear you to pieces and kill you where you stand."  
  
    Makoto's eyes widened and he turned his head, finding Rin's gazed locked on him, lips drawn back to bare every single one of those pointed teeth.   
  
    "Rin...what happened to you?"  
  
    "Why do you bastards keep trying to turn this around on me? Look at YOU, Makoto."  
  
    Makoto looked away, swallowing hard. Rin looked down at Haru and sighed. He still had one arm under the boy's shoulders, but he'd moved his other arm to let Haru's legs rest across Makoto's lap, so his hand was resting on Haru's hip.   
  
    "And look at him, this fucking idiot won't even say anything to you. He didn't even fight you outside of the Academy."  
  
    "You...you saw that..." Makoto swallowed hard.  
  
    "He cares for you so fucking much, no matter what. The idiot would probably let you fuck him if it meant keeping you happy."  
  
    "What? He wouldn't..." Makoto's head shot up.  
  
    Rin felt Haru's body jolt in his arms. He looked over to see Makoto become a rather distinct shade of green and the boy's hand shot up to clamp over his mouth. Makoto managed to rip his hand out of Haru's and get off the couch, just barely making it to the bathroom before the sound of retching was heard through the house. Rin looked down to find Haru's eyes open and staring up at him.   
  
    "Idiot," Rin muttered angrily, though it seemed more directly aimed at himself.   
  
    Haru slid out of Rin's lap slowly, turning his eyes away again. He'd hoped forcing Rin and Makoto together would somehow fix things, but that most certainly hadn't worked out. Rin got up and moved outside, not saying anything when Kou followed.   
  
    "What's going on?" Nagisa slipped out of the laundry room, where he'd been washing Haru's bed sheets.   
  
    "Go see to Makoto."  
  
    Haru couldn't bring himself to do it. The sound of retching continued. He wanted to comfort Makoto, but he couldn't. He saw the way Nagisa looked and even hung on Makoto, so maybe the other boy could. He watched Nagisa head off to the bathroom, then made his way up to his bedroom. Haru took the goggles off the wall and curled up in bed, clutching them in his hands, closing his eyes. It had been nice to be held by Rin, even for a moment...even if it was never going to happen again. It felt nice to pretend things were back like they were, with Makoto and Rin so close to him again. He should have known it wouldn't last long.   
  
    His bedroom door opened, and Haru wasn't sure how much time had passed. He sat up, expecting to see Makoto standing there, completely surprised to see Rin instead. Rin still looked pissed off. His hand was on the doorknob and Haru tightened his grip around the goggles Rin had tossed so carelessly aside. The movement attracted Rin's eyes and the recognition was there.   
  
    "You kept those?Why the hell would you keep a pair of discarded goggles?" Rin snapped.   
  
    Haru looked down at them and didn't answer. He knew they weren't the reason Rin was so angry, they were being used as an outlet. Rin took a step into the room and Haru sat up slowly, swinging his legs over the side of the bed. He rubbed his thumb around the inside of one of the eye covers, turning to look up at Rin. He frowned, confused, not sure what to make of the look on the other boy's face. Rin advanced again, eyes flashing, mouth opened. He was ready to give Haru a piece of his mind, Haru knew that much.   
  
    Rin took another step forward, and then all the strength seemed to leave him, all at once. Haru's eyes widened as Rin collapsed to his knees. Rin slumped forward against Haru's legs, face buried in his arms in Haru's lap, unable to stop the tears as they came, the sobs ripping through his body. Haru had started to gear up for a fight...this was the last thing he'd expected.   
  
    Haru tentatively moved his hands, letting the goggles drop to the bed as he brushed his fingers through Rin's hair. He shifted his legs a bit and Rin used the movement to get between them, pushing himself closer to Haruka's body, his arms sliding around the other boy's waist. He felt Rin crying against his chest, simply wrapping his arms around the other boy, resting his cheek on top of Rin's head.   
  
    "I'm so sorry," Rin managed through his sobs against Haru's chest. "I've been so stupid...I..."  
  
    "There you go, crying again, Rin-Rin..." Haru murmured, brushing his fingers through Rin's hair.  
  
    Rin laughed through his tears, rubbing his face against Haru's chest. Haru made a face at the feel of slime being wiped back and forth over his skin. Gross. Apparently Rin hadn't changed THAT much.  
  
    "I hate you so much," Rin muttered through his sniffles, though there was no anger behind it that time.  
  
    "Liar. And you wiped snot all over me again."  
  
    "''s not snot, it's shark slime."  
  
    "That does not make it sound any less disgusting, even now. Do sharks even make slime?"  
  
    "Why don't you sleep with a shark and find out?"  
  
    Haru pushed Rin away, and Rin fell back onto his ass, laughing quietly.  He sat up, wiping at his eyes, looking down at his feet. He was still sniffling despite the laughter, and he slowly hugged his knees to his chest. He rested his chin on them, staring at Haru's feet, because he couldn't bring himself to look the boy in the eyes. He was on the verge of tears again.  
  
    "I can't believe I cried in front of you like a little bitch," Rin said, trying to force the toughness back into his tone.   
  
    "I was used to it back then," Haru said, getting up to find a towel. The snot was starting to dry, and it felt disgusting.  
  
    "So cold, Har-Har."  
  
    Haru stopped what he was doing, towel in hand. He hadn't heard that...since the last time Rin used it. Everyone else always stuck with Haru-chan.   
  
    "I don't think I ever decided which was more annoying...that, or the -chan."   
  
    "Har-Har-chan!"  
  
    The towel hit Rin in the face and covered his head completely. Rin couldn't help it, he roared with laughter. The look on Haru's face had been completely priceless. He moved the towel off his head and made a face.  
  
    "Gross, the snot wiped on my cheek."  
  
    "It's not snot, it's shark slime," Haru moved back, sitting on his bed.  
  
    Rin smirked and stuck out his tongue. He got up and sat on the foot of the bed, sitting cross-legged and turning to face the head of the bed. Haru glanced over and shifted to sit on the head of the bed, sitting cross-legged as well and facing Rin.   
  
    "You know, this bed felt a lot bigger back then," Rin murmured.  
  
    Haru just looked at him, waiting. Rin shifted uncomfortably and he looked down at the bed. Haru shifted, carefully, moving closer to the center of the bed, then rested a hand on each knee, palms up. Rin's eyes widened at their childhood gesture, slowly scooting forward until their knees touched.He rested his hands on Haru's palms, and the other boy's fingers closed over his hands. Rin bowed his head, feeling the tears start sliding down his cheeks again.   
  
    "Dammit, why am I always the one in tears over you, Nanase?" Rin murmured as the tears spilled down his cheeks, shoulders trembling.  
  
    "It's only because you never see mine, Matsuoka," Haru murmured in kind.   
  
    Rin's eyes widened, turning his teary face up to meet Haru's gaze. Haru raised his hands slowly, lifting their held hands up between them. He uncurled his fingers, sliding his hands around until their hands were pointed upward, palm to palm, and he slowly entwined their fingers.   
  
    "You've made me cry more than you know," Haru admitted quietly, because he felt Rin needed to hear it.   
  
    Rin sniffed softly and squeezed Haru's hands, looking away.   
  
    "I didn't realize how much I'd miss you when I left. It's like...something was missing. But I trained hard in Australia, despite everything..." his voice caught and he swallowed hard, shutting his eyes against the memories. "I thought for sure I could beat you when I got back...that I could show you I wasn't some stupid crybaby. But you left me in your wake..."  
  
    "The water..."  
  
    Rin blinked, looking up at Haru questioningly. Haru blushed and glanced away.  
  
    "The water...it felt wrong. Not...not like it usually felt when you were in it with me. It..it felt like it wanted to..."  
  
    "...devour you?"  
  
    Haru inhaled sharply and looked back to Rin, nodding slowly. Rin tilted his head, using their joined hands to wipe the tears from his eyes before he looked back up at Haru.   
  
    "I wanted to. I wanted to beat you down and laugh in your face when I won. Haruka, King of the Pool, and I wanted to knock you off your throne."  
  
    "But I never cared about any of that..."  
  
    "And that made it even worse. You...you don't even give a shit about it, all you want is to be in the water...and you were unbeatable. I want to be an Olympic swimmer...and I couldn't even beat someone who did it for fun. I hated that. And I started to hate you."  
  
    "Rin..."  
  
    Rin let go of Haru's hands and brushed his hair out of his eyes. He got off the bed, picking up his old goggles and looking at them.   
  
    "I never took you to be so sentimental." Rin chuckled and tossed them over his shoulder.  
  
    Haru caught them, frowning softly at Rin's back. The sudden change threw him off.  
  
    "I don't know why you've been out of shape for so long...but you better train hard with your little swim club."  
  
    Rin walked to the door and turned to face Haru, grinning.   
  
    "Nothing's changed. I still plan on knocking you off your throne."  
  
    Haru looked down and set the goggles aside, getting to his feet. He looked up slowly and locked eyes with Rin, a small smile forming on his lips.   
  
    "You only barely won, you know." He took a step closer to Rin.  
  
    Rin moved as well, until they were standing toe to toe.   
  
    "I don't plan on losing you again."  
  
    Haru opened his mouth to respond that he had no plans of letting Rin win, until the actual phrase sunk in. He was pretty sure that was NOT what Rin meant to say, but it had come out anyway. Rin was smirking at him, and Haru was pretty sure Rin hadn't even realized what he'd said, either.  
  
    "Don't plan on losing ME again?" Haru tilted his head.  
  
    "What?" Rin blinked and then swore under his breath. "Fuck it."  
  
    Haru blinked, about to ask what Rin meant when he felt the other's hand on the back of his neck. Rin pulled him forward and he felt Rin's lips press down on his own, eyes widening as the other boy kissed him firmly, deeply. Haru melted into it almost immediately, wrapping his arms around Rin's neck and returning the kiss, gripping the back of Rin's neck. He could feel those sharp teeth nipping at his lips, sending shivers down his spine. This is what he'd craved for so long.   
  
    They were interrupted by the sound of something crashing to the floor, and the sound of plates and glass shattering. They broke apart quickly and turned to the sound, finding Makoto standing in the doorway, a wooden tray on the floor in front of him. Tea was spilled over the floor, along with shards of glass and broken plates, and a few pieces of mackerel were scattered between. Haru felt his stomach knot up.  
  
    "Well," Rin grinned broadly, running his tongue over his teeth. "Looks like you have a lot of pieces to pick up, don't you?"  
  
    Rin got a vile pleasure from that. Blood in the water, after all. He walked by Makoto and clapped him on the shoulder before making his way down the stairs and out the door, leaving Makoto and Haru alone. Haru walked forward and knelt down, starting to carefully put the broken pieces onto the fallen tray. Makoto knelt down seconds later, helping. They reached for the same piece and paused, and Makoto carefully took Haru's hand, his own trembling. Haru looked up, meeting Makoto's sorrowful, watery gaze.  
  
    "I...I guess we need to talk, Haru-c...Haruka."  
  
    Haru looked down and finished putting everything on the tray. He picked it up and made his way to the stairs, and Makoto rose to follow him. Haru paused at the top, looking over his shoulder at Makoto, his best friend.   
  
    "...you...didn't have to drop the -chan," he said quietly, then made his way downstairs.   
  
    Utterly surprised, Makoto gave a weak smile and slowly followed Haru down. They had a lot to talk about.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Makoto and Haru are left alone after the events of the morning, which included Makoto walking in to catch Haru and Rin in a passionate kiss, the two are left to talk about the events of the past few days. Shockingly, it's Haru who ends up doing most of the talking...and he has confessions to make.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter turned out wholly different than I imagined it in my head. The boys decided to take everything I had planned and chuck it out the window. I hope you enjoy it!

    Haru paused over the garbage can, looking down at the tray in his hands. His shoulders rose and fell with his slow breath, then he dumped it all into the garbage. Nothing from it was salvageable. The tray was perfectly fine, but that found its way into the garbage too.   
  
    "We never took care of your feet..."  
  
    Haru looked at Makoto, then down at his bare feet. It felt like yesterday that it had happened, but really, it hadn't been that long ago. He turned his head back to Makoto, who simply turned without a word, heading down to the downstairs bath, obviously expecting Haru to follow...in imitation of Haru, almost. Haru shook his head, lips twitching just a touch as he followed.   
  
    Makoto already had the first aid kit out, and the seat of the toilet was down. The water was running in the sink, and the sound caused him to relax just a bit more. Haru settled onto the toilet seat and leaned back on it, just watching Makoto. When the other boy knelt in front of him, Haru looked away. Makoto's touch on his left heel was barely felt, those fingertips touching his heel for a brief second, pulling away upon contact, and Haru pretended not to notice those eyes flick up towards him at the touch.   
  
    When Haru didn't react, the touch of those fingers came again, the contact steady, but still barely feeling harder then a feather, even when his foot was lifted to give access to its sole. His toes splayed lightly at the soft, warm touch of the wet towel, then curled when it was rubbed carefully downward to wash away any blood or remaining debris. The pebbles had been sharp, and he'd run pretty hard over them. But his intent had been to get between Makoto and Rin, he hadn't cared for the consequences.   
  
    "It looks worse than it is, that's good," Makoto said softly.   
  
    "They're just feet," Haru mumbled. It felt weird, being tended to like this. Haru never really cared for it.   
  
    "They're not just feet," Makoto gently rubbed the towel down Haru's foot again, watching the dance of the other boy's toes. "They're your feet."  
  
    Haru's eyes flicked to Makoto, feeling the blood rushing to his cheeks. Makoto averted his gaze, blushing much worse than Haru. He gently set the boy's foot down and pulled the first aid kit closer. Haru watched Makoto prepare the iodine for the cuts and looked away again, letting the boy get to it.  
  
    "So..about that talk," Makoto said softly.  
  
    "Right now?"  
  
    "You can't exactly run away right now," Makoto murmured.   
  
    "I should have known," Haru muttered, bringing a hand up and rubbing his face.   
  
    Makoto gave a soft chuckle, gently starting to dab the iodine over Haru's foot. Haru could feel the thoroughness, Makoto being his usual protective self. Haru brought his hand down away from his face and crossed his arms again, staring up at the ceiling.  
  
    "All right, then. Talk."  
  
    "Were you and Rin a couple back then? Did I somehow miss that?" Makoto asked as he finished with the first foot, briefly debating adding bandages or not. He went with not, as he knew Haru would hate it, and they'd end up coming off anyway as Haru would likely be submerged in water in a matter of hours.   
  
    "No..." Haru shook his head.   
  
    "But there was something. I didn't really think about it back then. But thinking back..."  
  
    "All of you had something," Haru muttered. "It was annoying."  
  
    Makoto paused and burst out laughing, sitting back on his heels. The more he thought about it, the more he laughed, and he couldn't stop it. It was better than crying, though. And Makoto's laughter caused Haru to give a small snort of amusement, smiling ever so slightly.   
  
    "I guess we did, didn't we? You're a magnet, Haru-chan...your energy, it draws people, even as...you...as you try to be. You never really pushed any of us away, though. Even...even if you should have," Makoto finished quietly.   
  
    "Do you really think I could ever push YOU away, Makoto?"  
  
    Makoto stood, getting another cloth and wetting it. He walked back and knelt down, gently brushing a finger along the top of Haru's other foot, which drew a twitch and a surprised little laugh out of Haru, causing Makoto's eyes to widen lightly. He did it again, and Haru actually SQUIRMED, nearly kicking his foot and biting down a noise that sounded suspiciously like a giggle.   
  
    "You...you're TICKLISH!"  
  
    "I am not!"  
  
    "And on the TOP of your foot..." Makoto poked a finger towards Haru's foot, and as suspected, Haru jerked his foot away. "Oh my god. How did I never know this?"  
  
    "Would you torture an injured foot?"   
  
    "Oh, that's not fair." Makoto huffed. "Since when do you play the hurt princess?"  
  
    Haru made a face and huffed softly. Makoto laughed quietly and carefully cupped Haru's heel in his palm, raising the boy's foot and starting to clean it carefully. Haru's toes were clenched together, curled forward, nervous that Makoto may try to go for another tickle.   
  
    "Anyway, you did try to push me away you know...twice."  
  
    "You would have kept asking."  
  
    "Maybe," Makoto shrugged.  
  
    "And you surprised me with a gift."  
  
    "Which I can't believe you still have..."  
  
    Haru turned his head, gaze locked on Haru. His eyes were incredulous, especially now, even though his face didn't change. Makoto read the look perfectly, of course, and he ducked his head.   
  
    "Ok, considering the goggles, yeah, you're right." Makoto looked down, watching water beads roll along the arch of Haru's foot. "I wish I had known, back then."  
  
    "I'm sorry I caused you so much pain."  
  
    "How..." Makoto swallowed hard, "how can you apologize to me, Haru?"  
  
    "Why shouldn't I?"  
  
    Makoto stared at Haruka, not sure what to say. He chose nothing, and instead began to dab the wounds on that foot with iodine as well.   
  
    "Why did you finally say yes?"  
  
    Haru should have seen that coming. He really should have. It still caught him unawares, like jumping into a pool knowing the water is going to be freezing and still being shocked by the cold.   
  
    "You didn't know about that race, back then." Haru paused, got Makoto's confirming nod, even though he knew anyway. "When you asked me...it was exactly a year after. Exactly."  
  
    "I always wondered how it was you said no so quickly...I had hoped to've at least been worth a hesitation before you turned me down," Makoto admitted.  
  
    "The second year...I still had hope...foolish, childish as it was...I hoped still that Rin might decide to start talking to me again."  
  
    "You were the most un-childish kid I knew, Haru-chan. You shouldn't feel so ashamed about having at least one childish hope," Makoto said softly, fingers resting on Haru's knee.   
  
    Haru looked down then, to the fingers resting so gingerly on his knee. Those touches were so fleeting now, like flies coming down upon a tempting fruit only to take to the air immediately after touching down. They were so light, but he still noticed them, because it was Makoto. He wasn't used to Makoto's touches being so...fearful, however. He rested his hand on Makoto's took it off his knee. He noticed the boy's face crumble a touch, believing Haru was denying him the contact, but that wasn't it. He entwined their fingers, bringing their hands palm to palm, and Haru felt relieved when Makoto's face lightened.   
  
    "But another year went by, and...there you were, again. You've always known me so well, and you always were good to me, knew how to treat me, and.." Haru continued, ignoring the derisive, choked sound Makoto made, "I thought, maybe...if I gave it a chance, I could get over Rin, and...learn to love you."  
  
    "There's definitely a 'but' supposed to be there."  
  
    "And my 'butt' is on a toilet seat. We are going to finish this conversation somewhere else."  
  
    "Where?"  
  
    "Not here."  
  
    Haru got up and left the bathroom, heading up to the bedroom. He pulled on some pants and a shirt, sitting down to carefully pull on socks and shoes. Makoto followed and was standing in the doorway, watching.   
  
    "You mean we're not going to finish it here at all?"  
  
    "I want to go to the beach."  
  
    "But...the water's still cold."  
  
    "I don't care. I'm not going in."  
  
    "So you want to finish our talk walking the beach, ro--..."  
  
    The childhood joke died on his lips. Haru watched Makoto practically choke down the words and look away, the smile fading from his face. Haru looked back down and finished the laces on his shoes. He sighed, having hoped falling into a more comfortable pattern would make things easier. But Makoto was still walking on glass around him.  
  
    "You and Rin always were really focused on the romantic," Haru got to his feet, striding passed a surprised Makoto. "It's like you were competing to see who could outdo each other over what could be romantic. I never understood it, you know. Nagisa seemed more the type to appreciate that, maybe you and Rin should have competed for him instead."  
  
    Makoto just gaped at Haru's back, shocked that the other boy had pretty much picked up the joke and ran with it. Makoto would have stood there a while longer if he hadn't realized Haru was pretty much leaving him behind for THEIR talk on the beach, hearing the front door opening as Haru left.  
  
    "HEY! Wait for me!" Makoto shouted, running down the steps.  
  
    Haru heard the door shut behind him and then Makoto coming down behind him on the steps.  He kept walking, and it wasn't long before Makoto fell into step beside him. Haru kept his head down as they walked, shifting his step just a tad so his shoulder brushed Makoto's arm. The contact was brief, and Makoto glanced over at him. Haru didn't look up, continuing a few more steps before nudging Makoto's arm again.  He could feel Makoto's eyes on him and Haru sighed inwardly, tilting his head just so, giving a mere fraction of a turn so he could flick his eyes at Makoto.   
  
    He felt the weight of Makoto's arm slowly come down across his shoulders, though he did notice it felt more like a feather boa than a person's arm. He was still being treated like glass, it seemed, but he'd have to deal with that. He leaned on Makoto's side as they walked, and felt the weight a little more firmly on his shoulders then. They didn't say anything the entire walk to the beach, and soon turned onto the sands. The beach was nearly empty due to the cool weather. They stood near the water, looking out over it, the sound of someone's radio just reaching their ears.   
  
    "You're just barely repressing the urge to strip down and dive in, aren't you?"  
  
    Haru shot a glare at Makoto in response, getting a sweet smile in return. He looked away, kicking some sand towards the waves.   
  
    "Did you know Nagisa has a really scary side?" Makoto said finally, when no words were forthcoming from Haru. "You think he's all sunshine and penguins, but oh noooo. I think deep inside he's hiding a rabid...rabbit or something. Because he's not big enough to be a wolverine."  
  
    "You're lying."  
  
    "No..." Makoto glanced down.   
  
    Haru tilted his head to look up at the other boy, raising an eyebrow.  
  
    "I actually saw it a while ago...when he got a close look at my jealous side," Makoto mumbled.   
  
    Haru's eyes widened a bit and he pulled away from Makoto, turning towards the boy. Makoto raised his hands, shaking his head quickly. Haru looked down, taking a deep breath. He ran a hand through his hair, holding the back of his head as he rested his other hand on his hip. They kept circling everything important, and it was turning out to be pretty much as hard as Haru expected it to be. He let his hands fall to his sides and shook his hair out a bit, exhaling with a sharp rush of air.  
  
    "This is a pain," he finally said.   
  
    "I know. I'm sorry, Haru-chan. I'm sorry for hurting you the way I have...bruising you. I let my fear of losing you...my need of you...I let it start to consume me. Last night..Haru, what I did to you..."   
  
    Haru's hand shot up, clamping down over Makoto's mouth. Haru turned his head to look up into Makoto's eyes, his own hard as ice. Makoto quailed under those eyes, not trying to talk under the other boy's hand. It didn't stop the tears from welling up, however, or spilling down over Makoto's cheeks.   
  
    "You will not blame yourself for last night. I told you to do it. I should have stopped it when I told you to stop, instead of sending you into the bathroom." Haru glanced away, his shoulders slowly sagging, hand dropping away from Makoto's mouth as if he no longer had the strength to hold it there. "Just add it to my list of fuck ups."  
  
    "Your list...Haru..you can't...you're not..."  
  
    "Shut up."  
  
    Makoto let out a shocked sound, but his mouth snapped closed. Haru turned away, sliding his hands into his pockets. He couldn't look at Makoto right now. Not as he was preparing to do something he'd never done before. Hell, the last could days had been filled with things he'd never done before. It all lead to this point, right now. To a conversation he never thought he would ever have. To sins he never thought he would have to confess.   
  
    "If you say anything to interrupt me before I'm done, I'll quit the swim club."  
  
    "Haru..." Makoto swallowed hard, staring at the other boy's back. That was a serious threat, and Makoto knew better than to challenge it right now. "Okay."  
  
    "Rin was so angry that night at Samezuka Academy. He saw it from the window, chased me down." Haru took a deep breath, almost tasting the salt of the ocean on his tongue. "Talked about how far I'd fallen, that I could allow that to happen."  
  
    He held up a hand. His back was to Makoto, but he didn't need to see the other boy to know Makoto was opening his mouth to speak.   
  
    "We've dated for two years, Makoto." Haru paused, flicking his tongue across his dry lips. "No, that's a lie. We dated for about six months. You've dated for two years. And our relationship started on a lie."  
  
    Makoto could only stare at  Haru. Haru could almost hear the sound of Makoto's pained swallow. He couldn't force this lie anymore. He couldn't keep doing this to Makoto. So he'd decided to bare all. Rip off the bandage with one fell swoop.   
  
    "Do you understand?"  
  
    "I..." Makoto's voice cracked, his face wet with spilled tears. "Each other's first kiss," he said softly, the tremble evident.  
  
    "I let you believe it. And when I realized that my feelings weren't changing, that I couldn't bring myself to love you, not in the way I knew you loved me...did I stop things? No."   
  
    Haru turned to face Makoto now, and Makoto nearly shattered to see that Haru's cheeks were wet. It didn't matter that his tears were visibly streaming and wouldn't stop, that Haru's cheeks were practically dry compared to Makoto's. What mattered was that Haru was exposing to Makoto that the tears had been there. Even if Haru was doing his damnedest to keep them behind a dam.   
  
    "Kou, Nagisa, even Rin..." Haru took in a shaky breath, touching a hand to his cheek, his neck, his arm. "My bruises are here. Poor me. How bad of you to hit me. They must save me from you, big bad Makoto..."  
  
    Haru shook his head, the mirth in his voice evident. He walked over to Makoto, reaching up to the taller boy, his hands coming to rest gently on the other boy's wet cheeks, tilting Makoto's head down so they could look into each other's eyes.   
  
    "What about you? Where are your bruises? They can't see them. And you...you've been too blind to it to know you had them. But I know, Makoto. Because I put them there, with all my lies...lies by omission, because it was easier to say nothing."  
  
    "You've...you've always been that way," Makoto said quietly. He rested his hands gently on Haru's hips. When Haru said nothing, he continued, "Always. You always kept your opinions to yourself, like with the school project...I could tell you hated the flowerbed idea. I usually pick up on it...but I was so blinded by having you, I..."  
  
    Haru drew Makoto down as he raised up onto his toes. For the first time in two years, it was Haru who initiated their kiss. Haru's palms cupped the boy's cheeks gently, keeping his lips pressed against Makoto's, the other boy frozen in complete shock. His grip on Haru's hips tightened and he drew the boy closer, slowly returning the kiss, but he didn't push it further than what it was. Makoto knew what it was.   
  
    Their first kiss had been a lie. There last would not be.   
  
    Makoto was still stunned as Haru broke the kiss. Haru slid his arms around Makoto's neck, resting his head on the taller boy's shoulders. They could still hear the radio, and Haru began to move lightly, just swaying on the spot. Makoto moved with him, and they danced together slowly on the beach, just swaying, matching the slow roll of the waves on the shore.   
  
    Haru could feel Makoto trembling under his arms. Haru loathed having to do this. He'd never wanted to hurt Makoto this way. He would have endured much worse to make Makoto happy. It would not have ended well, he knew that now. Something would have had to give, sooner or later. He was hurting Makoto just as much.  
  
    "It's okay, Makoto," Haru murmured. "I'm not broken."  
  
    Makoto buried his head into Haru's shoulder. The trembles turned into shakes as Makoto began to sob into his shoulder, those arms wrapped tightly around him like someone clinging to a life saver in the middle of a storm. It was all the answer Haru needed to the unasked question. Makoto's body sagged against his, nearly becoming dead weight as the other boy sobbed, and Haru staggered under it, but managed to stay on his feet.   
  
    Haru carefully lowered them to their knees, holding Makoto's sobbing form against him. He cupped the back of Makoto's head, resting his cheek against the other boy's, letting Makoto cry. It had been the final, necessary bandage to rip off so both of them could move on, start to heal...together. He knew both of them were to blame, and they had a long road ahead of them. As he held his sobbing best friend, Haru made a promise to himself.  
  
    He would never be the one to break Makoto again.  


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the scene on the beach, Makoto and Haruka head back to the house. Once there, Haru lets Makoto go...and finds out Rin is still playing his games.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This short chapter brings the break up to a close. Enjoy!

    "I think, deep down, I knew..."  
  
    Haru stared down at the squid he was grilling for them. Makoto had wanted squid, and for once Haru hadn't argued. They'd come back from the beach once Makoto had calmed down, and both were a bit hungry. Makoto was sitting at the table, watching Haru cook.  
  
    "But it was my fault, too...I couldn't bring myself to let you go. It had to have been hurting you, too, Haru-chan..."  
  
    "I thought we were done talking," Haru said, plating the pieces of squid.  
  
    Makoto chuckled quietly. He couldn't help the small look of surprise when Haru turned around, coming to the table and setting just one plate between them. Haru sat across from Makoto and glanced away when the boy smiled at him softly.  
  
    "You started that when we began dating. I thought you might have stopped, now..."  
  
    Haru shrugged his shoulders, sipping his tea and looking back at the plate. Did Makoto want them to be more distant now? He hadn't liked dating Makoto and the obligations that came with that, but he couldn't deny that he had liked the extra closeness they'd gotten from it, outside of the romance aspect. Did Makoto want to get rid of that closeness? He hadn't even thought of that, really.   
  
    "I don't mind it, you know..." Makoto said softly, correctly interpreting Haru's silence. "At least we can keep that part...I was just...afraid you'd want to push me away."  
  
    Haru relaxed, picking up his set of chopsticks and taking a piece of squid, chewing it carefully as he looked up at Makoto. Makoto smiled and started to eat as well. Haru knew Makoto still hurt inside, but the boy always had held up well. Or at least, hid it well. Haru was never exactly sure which, and sometimes it worried him. Now he was the source of what Makoto was bottling up. No matter what happened, he was still caught in the net that trapped him. This hadn't freed him, only loosened it while causing it to tangle.   
  
    "You know I can't push you away, Makoto," Haru said quietly. "I can't lose you."  
  
    Makoto looked away when Haru talked about not being able to push him away. It made him think of...other things...that Makoto still felt guilty about. But then Haru's last words caught his attention and he looked over at the boy.   
  
    "Haru..."  
  
    "I can't, Makoto. Not you, too."  
  
    Haru wouldn't meet Makoto's eyes. He knew the other boy would know. Makoto had been there pretty much all his life. He stared resolutely into his tea, holding the cup between his hands. He could feel Makoto's eyes on him. Makoto alone knew all he went through, the issues he had.   
  
    "You know that will never happen, Haru-chan," Makoto finally said softly.  
  
    Haru just shook his head and finished off his  tea. He gently pushed the plate closer to Makoto, not wanting to eat any more as he got up.   
  
    "I'm not that hungry, go ahead and finish it. I made it for you, anyway."   
  
    Makoto decided not to argue, looking down to concentrate on the fish. Makoto wasn't the only one who could bottle things up after all...between the two of them, Haru was actually the master of that particular skill. After all, it was Makoto who'd begun to crack first, as evidenced by how he'd begun to behave. Sighing, Makoto ate, simply watching as Haru went to the kitchen and got his phone.  
  
   _It's done, we're not dating anymore_ , Haru texted to Rin's phone. Maybe getting Rin back into his life would help. Rin had to still care, after what happened in the bedroom before Makoto walked in. After that kiss Rin had given him.   
  
_Good. Maybe now you can concentrate on getting in shape instead of being distracted by any fucking stupid relationships._   
  
    Haru stared at his phone, breath caught in his throat. The phone buzzed in his hand again, a second message appearing under the first.  
  
 _Don't tell me you thought I was going to ask you out? Pff.  Idiot._  
  
    Haru's fingers clenched on the phone, his entire body tensed up. Of course Makoto would notice, and he got up, coming up behind Haru to lay a hand on his shoulder.  
  
    "Haru...? What is it?"   
  
    Makoto came close and looked down over Haru's shoulder, seeing the text messages on the boy's phone. Haru slowly put his phone back into his pocket and turned, flashing his eyes towards Makoto before he looked away. Makoto sighed, gently squeezing Haru's shoulder and kissing the top of the boy's head.  
  
    "He probably just feels weak, that's all."  
  
    Haru lay his head on Makoto's chest and just leaned on him. Makoto always read him well, he'd been thinking about how Rin had broken down in front of him. He'd never say that to Makoto though. He had hoped Rin's show of vulnerability would open the boy up to him more, not do the opposite. But he should have known Rin hated to be seen as weak. He felt Makoto's strong arms around him, holding him closely.   
  
    "Well, we're one screwed up bunch of friends, aren't we?"  
  
    "Hmph," Haru murmured into Makoto's chest. "Nagisa."  
  
    "I'm pretty sure Nagisa could kick my ass. Anything that could make that little one so tough..."  
  
    "Hn," Haru frowned, turning his head to look up at Makoto.   
  
    "I think he's okay. Especially now that he has us again."  
  
    Haru's features softened with relief and he stepped away from Makoto.   
  
    "Go see him."  
  
    "What?" Makoto blinked, surprised.   
  
    "Go. Talk to him."  
  
    "Haru-chan..."  
  
    "Drop the chan already," Haru shook his head and turned away. Without another word, he made his way upstairs.  
  
    Makoto watched him go and sighed softly, shoulders relaxing. He smiled at Haru's retreating form and knew what the boy was doing.  
  
    "Thanks, Haru..." he murmured, then left the house.   
  
    Haru listened to the door close, standing at the top of the stairs. He crossed one arm across his stomach and rested his elbow against his wrist, covering his face with his hand. He was never good at figuring this sort of stuff out. He'd let Makoto go, now...sent him towards Nagisa, whose signs he hoped to hell he'd read right. He knew what Rin was doing too, but it didn't make the boy's game hurt any less.   
  
_I won't lose you again._  
  
    He knew Rin had meant it...because Rin hadn't meant to say it. But Rin was still pushing him away. Haru went into the bathroom and started the tub, stripping down to his suit. He wouldn't think about it now. He'd let the water clear his mind, soak for a while. After all...water always helped him heal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you haven't bookmarked the SERIES yet, now will be a good time to do so. I think this chapter brings this part of the series to a good close, and thus the next installment of the series begins with Haru single again and is better suited to start as its own part of the series. 
> 
> Comments, thoughts, and suggestions welcome! Thank you for reading!


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